Seven families set out on an adoption journey together, faced some unexpected challenges, and rose above the odds by creating a new family not only with their adopted daughters, but also with one another.
The Beginning of Something Special
It was an unsettling time. The Iraq war, the Gulf war and SARS were raging across the ocean from the United States, but the families adopting from China through Adoptions From The Heart’s international program could not be stopped. After taking months to complete the adoption application and waiting an additional twenty-one months, seven families that were part of the same travel group, received their dossiers and made arrangements to fly to China together to meet their daughters for the first time.
Theresa and her husband met Carl and his wife in the travel group and shared what that original travel experience was like. Being the last group to travel abroad was a little stressful, after their group the program was paused because of SARS. Their flights were also affected by SARS, in fact they were completely canceled. “We got a call from our AFTH Facilitator saying our flight from the originally airline into Hong Kong was canceled because of SARS so we would be flying Japan Air to Tokyo,” Theresa explained.
“We were in coach, but it felt like we were in first class and the layover in Tokyo is when we really became like brothers and sisters,” remembered Carl. “I told my wife that despite the war and SARS if I had to carry her on my back we are getting to the court house. Then, when we were able to see our daughter and all the other girls too, it was a priceless moment. We didn’t even check into our hotel. We went straight to the court house to see the girls. There was a little match maker man in China who matched us with our daughters and it is crazy to see how perfect everything worked out for us now looking back on all of these memories.”
Revisiting Their Roots
When their daughters were ten years old, the families traveled together again to China for two weeks. Flipping through scrapbooks filled with photos and books filled with memories dating back to the very beginning, both Carl and Theresa remember what it was like experiencing China with their daughters.
“In China we took them to a school, they just opened their doors to us and the girls were able to participate in a gym class with the students. Before we adopted the girls they had foster families and we were able to be reunited with their foster mothers when we were in China.” The families were also able to go to their founding spots, some of which were only two blocks from each other, other girls were originally from different areas of China and had to travel a little further, but all in all it was a very emotional aspect of the trip.
The group also visited the grounds of the orphanage, which really put into perspective things for the girls. “I remember my daughter saying she was happy she didn’t live in China anymore because she was able to see what it would have been like if she hadn’t become a part of our family,” Theresa recalled. “We got back from China and she went back to school on a Monday. That Wednesday I remember her coming home from school and saying to me, ‘Mom, school is so boring.” I had to stop for a second and say well yeah that’s because last week you were climbing the Great Wall of China.”
Growing Up and Growing Closer
“We brought the girls home from China in April and were at the Adoptions From The Heart Annual Family picnic in June. This is our thirteenth year attending,” Carl explained. Every August the group gets together with the families who live a little further from the Philadelphia area and have a huge birthday party for the girls who were all born within weeks of each other.
Three years ago when the group traveled back to China the girls were in the fourth grade and had begun to ask deeper questions about their past. It is common for children at that age to have identity issues no matter what, but Carl said that what has worked well for his family has been being honest from the very beginning. “We are so lucky because these girls are like sisters.” Theresa echoed the sentiment, “I walked by her room one evening and she was playing her guitar and FaceTiming one of the other girls who was singing along, it was just beautiful to see. They have someone to talk to and technology connects them.” The girls aren’t struggling with the adoption conversation.
The families come back together multiple times a year, but the AFTH Annual Family Picnic holds a special place and they hope to continue their tradition of firing up the grill for years to come. “We come to the picnic to support AFTH. We don’t need the picnic to stay together as a group. Adoptions From The Heart gave us an opportunity, I’m a father and uncle to these girls. It is so special and we want to support AFTH and what they gave us.”
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