She is pregnant with your baby, now what? Shock, anger, confusion, embarrassment, denial, regret, sadness — as the father of the baby, you too are more than likely dealing with all kinds of emotions. It can be difficult to express emotions at a time like this. It’s normal for you to be experiencing these things but it’s important that you talk about your feelings. Find someone you can confide in, reach out to family, friends, the mother if possible. Know that we are here to help you too. Contact one of our supportive adoption counselors by phone or set up a meeting to talk about your situation and your options. We want you to know that you have a voice and you have rights too.
Many men don’t know much about adoption – what it means, how it works, or how they can be involved in decisions such as choosing a family for their baby. Some fear being judged by family, friends, and others for not “living up to their responsibilities” by parenting even if they know adoption may be best. Sometimes men struggle in understanding why the mother of their child is considering adoption. The important thing to remember is that by gathering information you can help to make the best decision for both you and your child. We can even connect you with other fathers that have been in similar situations and have chosen adoption.
We understand that your decisions in dealing with an unplanned pregnancy will not be easy. We are not here to sway you in any direction. Our goal is to help you make an educated decision, one that is best for you, your partner, and your baby.
Some of the options the mother of your baby may be considering are listed below, and with each decision you have different roles you can take:
- Support her decision and be involved in the process
- Support her decision but not take an active role
- Choose not to support her decision and not be involved in adoption plan
- Choose not to support and attempt to establish parental rights and parent
- This is the mother’s choice.
This decision is one that will affect the rest of your life. Remember that you and your baby’s mother do not have to go through this pregnancy alone. We are here to help provide information and support during your decision making process.
As a father you have rights. It is important to learn about your rights in relation to the adoption process. Some fathers are hesitant at first about the adoption process, but then come to the realization that they may not have the time or resources to raise the child. Remember you can choose to be involved in the adoption process.