Your daughter or loved one is pregnant. What now?
When your child tells you he or she is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you have some decisions to make of your own. How are you going to support them? We understand this is a difficult time for both you and your child. We are here to provide support and information to help everyone focus on what they think is best for the baby.
Your child may feel scared and alone. Assure your child that you will be supportive and that you are there to listen.
If your daughter is pregnant, she will need to find a doctor to begin receiving medical care. Check and see if her prenatal care and delivery are covered under insurance. If not, there are other programs she may qualify for through local pregnancy centers or through Medicare. We can help connect you.
Do not hesitate to contact our agency with any questions or concerns regarding the pregnancy or the adoption process. If your daughter is considering adoption, it is important that she make this decision on her own, yet with support, guidance and education on her options.
Suggestions when talking to Your Child about Adoption:
If your child is considering adoption for their baby, it is important to first gather information and to learn how the adoption process works. Know that the adoption plan is personal – no adoption plan is the same. Your child can choose what is best for the baby including the family as well as the openness level for continued contact if they choose.
- Be brief—the subject can be overwhelming.
- Use positive language.
- Be informative, not persuasive— ultimately this is her decision.
- Speak in the third person since adoption is still just an OPTION at this point as no final decision has been made: ex. “if a woman chooses”
- Share any personal stories you have heard about adoption—make it real, not like a movie or TV show.
- Keep in mind adoption is not best for everyone—the decision should be best for your child and most importantly for the baby
Your Daughter Wants an Abortion
Depending on the stage of her pregnancy, your daughter may be considering abortion. It is important that she learn all of the facts and considers her options. Encourage her to take some time to find out about all of her options. Educating herself about alternatives to abortion enables her to make a real choice. A decision based on assumptions or partial information is not a true choice.
Your Child Wants to Parent
If your child is considering parenting the baby, stay open and listen to what he or she has to say regarding the decision. Again, consider contacting Adoptions From The Heart to speak with an adoption counselor. We can present a number of resources and information to help your child make the best decision for both them and the baby. AM I READY TO PARENT brochure can help facilitate a discussion about parenting with your child.
Adoption and Our Grandchild
If your child chooses adoption for his or her baby, we understand it can sometimes be difficult for parent and other family members as they will also experience a loss. It is important for you to understand the decision and seek support as well. Grandparents can also be included in the child’s adoption plan. Depending on the level of openness in the adoption, you may be able to visit with the child and receive photos and letter or email updates as well. All relationships change and develop over time but the opportunity for you to get to know the child is possible.
The Father of the Baby
When choosing adoption for the baby, the father of the child should be involved in the counseling as well. The father of the child does have specific rights which you can learn more about here. If you or your child do not feel comfortable or are unable to contact the father, we can reach out to him about his baby.