Back-to-school season has started for many families across the country. Like any new beginning, the excitement can be mixed with fears about the unknown. For adoptees, there are stressors exclusive to their life, but these moments can serve as an opportunity to educate others on adoption and practice having serious conversations with your adoptee. 

The bottom line is for you and your child to do what will create a comfortable and effective learning environment. If your family is ready to discuss the various situations where adoption may be brought up, we have provided some tips on preparing your adoptee to return to school.  

#1 Communication with the school 

Just like communication levels in open adoption vary, levels with educational staff may look different. Deciding with your child the level of openness about their adoption can help staff to accommodate them throughout the year. This is helpful if there are any changes in your adoptees’ contact with their birth parents or changes to your home in general. If you’re unsure about having a direct talk with staff, you can share facts and articles on adoption. This encourages professionals to educate themselves without you needing to share the intimate details of your journey. This way, teachers can be prepared for assignments that bring up families and they can ensure inclusive language will be used in the classroom, so that every student feels comfortable.  

Check out one of our previous blog posts on helping your adoptee with school assignments: Tackling Tricky School Assignments (wordpress.com) 

 #2 Preparing your child 

If your child raises their concerns about school, you can begin by listening to them. It might be overwhelming to have these conversations, so asking them about their feelings sets up direction in a safe space such as your home. Your child’s level of comfort is most important, but we understand it might take some preparation by parents or social workers for them to have conversations with teachers and classmates that respect boundaries. Talks about being open vs oversharing private details encourage that adoption is not a shameful thing, rather some things are private and can be rephrased in a way that is appropriate for the environment. Creating a list of possible questions your child may be asked and going over them before the school year starts is a great way to ease worry.  

#3 Family values 

Think about the values you have as a family and how you want them to translate to your child, whether that be through language or behavior. How you talk about adoption at home is most likely how your child will be in other spaces. For example, if you have a transracial adoptee, you might have taught your child that parents are defined by many other qualities besides having the same skin color. You could be surprised by your child’s ability to educate others when they are hearing positive adoption language in their home. If there’s a piece of media you love and want to share with teachers and classmates, talk to staff about bringing it in and incorporating it into a lesson. Adoptions From The Heart has its positive adoption language guide you can read here: https://afth.org/the-ultimate-guide-to-positive-adoption-language/ 

Going back to school can be a great time to practice having tougher conversations about adoption, while also educating children and professionals. Every family has their share of worries when a new school year begins, so remember you’re not alone in any of your struggles. 

 

Sources: 

Blessing, R., & Fields, D. (2021, August 10). Preparing adoptees for returning to school this fall. RainbowKids.com. https://www.rainbowkids.com/adoption-stories/preparing-adoptees-for-returning-to-school-this-fall-2238  

Giesbrecht, J. (2021, September 21). Back to school for adoptees. Adoption.com. https://adoption.com/back-to-school-adoptee/  

Herring, P. (2020, November 2). Back to school for adopted children: Adoption agency a child’s hope. A Child’s Hope Adoption Agency Raleigh, Greensboro, Asheville NC | A Child’s Hope. https://achildshope.com/back-to-school-for-adopted-children/