There is an abundance of information for birth mothers about open adoption, the process, and the role that they will play. For birth fathers, although they are equally important, it can be harder to find information about the role they play throughout the adoption process and after their child has been adopted. The role of a birth father is just as important as a birth mother, and having information available to both birth parents about these roles and rights is essential to the adoption process. Birth fathers deserve the same recognition and education as birth mothers, so within this blog, we are going to explore more about what it means to be a birth father.
What is a birth father?
To start, it is important to understand who and what a birth father is. By definition, a birth father is “the biological father of a child who has been or will be adopted” (adoptionnetwork.com).
Birth fathers…
- are the biological fathers of their child or children,
- do not pay child support,
- may be married to the mother of the child, married to another, divorced, or unmarried,
- may or may not have surrendered their parental rights,
- may or may not live in the same area as their child’s adoptive family.
Emotions you may be feeling…
Shock, anger, confusion, embarrassment, denial, regret, sadness… these are just some of the emotions you may be feeling. It is normal to have these feelings during situations like this, but it is important that you give yourself time to allow yourself to process these emotions. Finding someone to confide in can help you to navigate this situation; this person could be family, a friend, or the mother of the child. If you do not feel as though you want to share your situation and emotions with any of these people, you can contact an adoption counselor to speak over the phone or schedule a meeting in which you can discuss your options. Since men are not usually educated about adoption- what it means, how it works, or how they can be involved in decisions such as choosing a family for their baby- there is a lot of stigmas surrounding the topic. Birth fathers may feel as though they will suffer judgment from people in their lives. More education about adoption, specifically open adoption, can help to break this stigma and display how, in some cases, open adoption is the best choice for both the parents and the child.
What is Open Adoption?
“Open adoption is one form of adoption where birth parents and adoptive parents can establish a relationship with each other, and the birth parents can learn how their child is doing post-adoption.”
Open adoption can be an excellent choice for birth fathers if they want to be able to watch their child grow up and be involved in their life in the future, but do not want to or do not feel as though they can take on parenting. Adoption should never feel like a shameful thing for birth fathers. In today’s world, open adoption is helping to end that stereotype. Open adoption could be the first step toward a potential lifelong connection with your child and their adoptive parents. Open adoption also allows for the child to feel as though they know more about who they are, their identity, and their ancestry, which is something adoptees with closed adoptions often struggle with.
Your Rights and Your Choice
All birth fathers have rights. Learning about what these rights are in relation to the adoption process and deciding what choices you want to make is essential. Some fathers are not on board with the idea of placing their child for adoption and do not understand why the mother thinks it is a good idea. Although many birth fathers are hesitant about adoption at first, after understanding their rights and the role that they would be able to play throughout the adoption process and in open adoption, they change their minds. Some birth fathers are set on parenting the child but come to the realization that they may not have the time, energy, or money to successfully parent their child. Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy is not a walk in the park, so it is important to know what choices you must make. Choosing the decision that will be the best for you, your baby, and your partner is the main thing to keep in mind.
To continue reading more about birth fathers and adoption, click the links below!
https://afth.org/pregnant/info-for-fathers/
https://www.adoptionchoicesofkansasmissouri.com/open-adoption-and-a-birth-father/
