An Advocate is Born
An advocate, speaker, author, and influencer at just 18 years old, Ayden’s story is far from ordinary. Ayden Lincoln was born on October 28th, 2002, in China. Less than a day old, Ayden was found with her umbilical cord still attached after being abandoned in a shoebox. She was subsequently brought to an orphanage, from which she would be adopted by an American couple the following year.
From that point on, Ayden’s difficult but beautiful journey as an adoptee began. Originally from Pennsylvania, the Lincoln’s raised Ayden in their home state with her two older brothers.
Credit: Wendy’s Eye Photography
Facing Trauma and Difficulty Adapting
In elementary school, Ayden began experiencing difficulties adjusting to the new environment. The young woman recounts this time of her life as indescribable. Not only was Ayden having a hard time understanding her own struggles, but those around her had difficulty understanding too. Ayden’s father initially took on a disciplinary role hoping that it would help his daughter’s behavior. These efforts soon proved to be futile. Ayden’s parents took on a nontraditional way of parenting. Her mother’s background as an educator helped the family recognize what Ayden was going through. It was not until her third-grade year that her school finally realized the root of Ayden’s struggles, ADHD and Anxiety as a result of trauma. Ayden is grateful for her parents’ dedication to supporting her and finding alternative methods to suit her needs.
Ayden’s struggles as a student are not as uncommon as many believe. Only in recent years has the movement to destigmatize mental health issues become mainstream. Even so, there is a greater emphasis on overall mental health, but not trauma. Adoptees are at a significantly greater risk of mental health disorders than their counterparts. As a society, there should be widespread efforts to raise awareness. There should also be a greater emphasis on providing support targeted towards adoptees.
Ayden wholeheartedly agrees there should be more supports for adoptees in school. She believes there is a need for more listening to students instead of labeling. Ayden experienced this labeling first-hand, having been referred to as a bad child and treated as such. She understandably did not know how to respond to those circumstances as a child. She lashed out against punishments and felt people did not care about her struggles.
Life as an International Adoptee
The bond the Lincoln family shares is a beautiful one. Ayden is very close to her parents and loves them deeply. Her parents have always celebrated their adoption journey along with her heritage. She spoke positively about their tradition of celebrating Ayden’s “Gotcha Day” every year on October 7th. Their family traditions include activities such as eating traditional Chinese dishes and celebrating Lunar New Year. Last year, the family held a watch party for the premiere of Disney’s live-action Mulan film. Ayden was able to explore her heritage further by taking a DNA test, from which she learned she was of Chinese and Vietnamese descent.
Ayden is proud of her background and feels blessed that she could honor that side of herself. Even so, she personally opts not to celebrate as much. Being an American is just as integral a part of her makeup as her ethnicity.
Ayden’s hometown has some diversity, the demographics primarily being composed of Caucasian and African-American people. However, the Asian population in the community is small. Often, Ayden is one of the few, if not the only Asian student in her classes. This fact does not impact her much as the thoughts of her birth family. Ayden often spends hours wondering “what if?”, thinking about her birth mother and family.
In her community, Ayden has connections with other transracial adoptees that can relate to her experience, such as her current coworker. Her parents also kept in touch with other families after traveling to China as a group when adopting Ayden. The Lincolns also utilized resources like Families With Children From China, a nonprofit supporting families with Chinese adoptees. The organization held monthly dinners where families could engage with each other, several of which Ayden and her family attended.
Courage to Share
Ayden is dedicated to using her voice, informing others that adoption is a beautiful way to change lives. A true advocate, she decided to share her story because there were not many like hers, especially in mainstream media. Since speaking out, Ayden has received an overwhelming amount of support from others. Over the past year, those inspired by her journey have sent several messages on social media. The positive feedback keeps her going, determined to inspire many more.
To learn more about Ayden, follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram
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