As you begin your journey to adopt a child, you and your partner may worry about the upcoming challenges of the adoption process. Many couples fear that the adoption process could negatively affect their marriage. While adoption is a fantastic way to build a family, it can change the dynamics of your relationship. It’s also essential to understand how adoption may affect your lifestyle and how you should better prepare your relationship for the addition of a child.
Often, married couples entering the adoption process are hoping to adopt a child they wouldn’t have had the opportunity to raise otherwise. Many, but not all, couples looking to adopt have already dealt with infertility issues, which is a painful experience. If you’ve had challenges with pregnancy, you may be starting the adoption process in a mind space of guilt, shame, and rejection. Take time to grasp your emotions and mentally prepare for the adoption process. It can also be a long journey with unpredictable twists and turns, but know it is all worth it.
It’s crucial that you and your partner are aware of the advantages and disadvantages your marriage may face. Adding a child to your family can bring challenges and sometimes hardships. However, it’s also rewarding experiences and heart-warming moments. You and your partner can take plenty of preventable measures to avoid stress, tension, and strain on your relationship. Applying these guidelines throughout your adoption journey can create a stronger bond and embrace your partner’s love. Let’s look at common ways adoption can impact marriages.
Transitioning Lifestyles
Adoption is a significant transition period, which can be daunting at first. If this is your first child, you and your partner will adapt to new roles and responsibilities. It can change the family dynamics and push your relationship to new boundaries. There will be many adjustments to your and your partner’s lifestyles. Your home environment will change, as well as your schedules and priorities.
To help your transition into parenthood, consider educating yourselves by reading parenting books and magazines or listening to parenting podcasts. At Adoptions From The Heart, we have great resources about adoptive parenting, which you can explore here. Create a plan with your partner, such as how you will rely on each other and parent together.
Communication
One of the most important aspects of maintaining a healthy marriage is communication. Creating an honest, safe space between you and your partner will help you feel comfortable expressing your feelings. Holding things in can cause resentment, leading to larger, more hurtful arguments.
To combat communication issues, have regular check-ins with your partner so you can share your feelings and opinions. Allow each other to speak your minds. Parenting is a joint effort and can only be done successfully with open communication.
Connection
Often, couples struggle to make romantic connections when raising a new baby. This is an entirely normal effect of adoption and marriage. When parenthood gets crazy and life overwhelming, you can forget to make time for your partner.
Your relationship should always be one of your top priorities. Making time to connect with your partner is crucial for your marriage. A lack of intimacy and bond can impact foundational aspects of your relationship. Plan a weekly date night and schedule a babysitter!
If you and your partner find yourselves struggling to connect, consider couple’s therapy. This is a common obstacle married couples face, and a therapist can help you find solutions for your relationship. Adoptions From The Hearts also hosts monthly adoptive parent support groups, which you can learn more about here.
Difficult Conversations
Adopting a child is a huge decision and commitment you and your spouse must make together. Adding a baby to your family will take a great deal of preparation. Parenthood is no easy feat, and as you and your partner prepare yourselves, it may be time to have some difficult conversations. You may have to ask and answer hard-hitting questions about parenting expectations. You will also have to prepare your finances and ensure you can afford to give care to a child. You may reach disagreements and find a compromise.
For new parents, this isn’t meant to scare you away from parenthood. However, there will be difficult conversations you need to have with your partner and family to make sure you can provide a baby with a wonderful upbringing. Adoption is a great responsibility, and it’s up to you and your spouse to prepare for it.
A New Chapter
Adoption can help you and your loved one explore new areas of your relationship. It can push you to embrace your partnership and depend on each other. And although adding a child to your life can come with some stress, it will undoubtedly bring you so much joy. You and your partner can take this opportunity to grow together in ways you never imagined possible. Take this time to learn and evolve as partners but also as individuals. Be kind to yourselves and welcome this new chapter with open arms.
To learn more resources of support, visit: https://afth.org/community-education/support-groups/
