The Memory Bear

Jeff and Samantha, two parents who just recently adopted their baby boy, Ethan, through AFTH, were so excited when they discovered they’d be expanding their family. Their bursting gratitude inspired them. That’s when Samantha discovered the memory bear. This bear would be made from blankets used for baby Ethan when in the hospital with his birth parents.

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“She told the staff nurses what she wanted to do and showed them pictures of what the bears would like when finished and they gave their permission for her to take the blankets” shared an AFTH social worker.

We also spoke with Samantha to find out a little more about why she decided to make this special bear.

Interview with Samantha

Q. Can you tell us a little about your journey through adoption?

A. After years of infertility and treatments, Jeff and I decided to choose adoption to complete our family. We started the adoption process in December of last year and were recently placed with a baby boy, Ethan, on September 11.

Q. Where did you get the idea for the memory bear?

A. Well, I originally started looking on Pinterest for adoption family picture ideas, advice and experiences a few months ago. That’s when I came across the pin of a memory bear. I thought it would be an adorable idea to make a bear for the birth mother!

Q. What made you want to make the bear?

A. When I saw the bear on Pinterest that was made out of a nursery blanket, I thought it would be a very thoughtful gift for the birth mother to always have a piece of her baby with her. I thought it would be comforting for her to have something of his, made by the baby’s mother/grandmother. I had intended to sew the bear myself, but under the circumstances we were in, Jeff’s mom was able to do it for us. Ethan was in the NICU for almost 3 weeks and all of our spare time was spent driving and/or in the hospital. I’m very thankful for the time she took to make them for us!!

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Q. What did it mean to you to be able to give the bear to the birth parents?

A. It was important to us to be able to give a small gift of gratitude to ETHAN’S birth parents. I am a crafty person, so I always knew I wanted it to be homemade and from the heart. We want them to know that they hold a very special place in our hearts and that we are always thinking of them! bear-1

Q. What do you think it meant to them to receive the bear?
A. That’s a good question!! We don’t know very much about Ethan’s birth parents, but putting ourselves into their shoes, we would hope that the bear would make them feel loved and appreciated. That’s what this gift means to us. We love them and appreciate them more than they know!!

Q. Why do you think it is important to establish a connection between yourself and your child’s birth parents?bear-3

A. As mentioned, we don’t know very much about Ethan’s birth family. Just spending time with him and feeling our hearts grow bigger for him makes us want to know and have a relationship with them!! They are such a HUGE part of Ethan, as he is to them and it is our hope to one day have that connection with them.

What this means to AFTH

It is wonderful to see such love and kindness from adoptive parents to birth parents without even knowing much at all about them. The empathy for the loss and grief of the birth parents is something that AFTH also advocates our adoptive parents understand. AFTH is also very grateful that Samantha, Jeff, and Jeff’s mother decided to make our agency a memory bear as well. We will always hold it close to our hearts.