Mother’s Day is a special day to honor the woman in your life who has raised and cared for you throughout the years.
One of the many benefits of open adoption is that it allows the possibility for all parties to form a relationship. When the birth parents and adoptive parents work together in a positive way, they can provide the child with double the love and support. Many adoptees in an open adoption grow up getting to know their birth mothers. An adoptee who openly communicates with their birth parent have the opportunity to learn about all aspects of their life: interests, hobbies, health history, friendships and family life.
In many situations the birth mother becomes a strong influence in an adoptees life, someone who they immensely look up to. For this reason people must remember to honor the birth mothers of our children.
Here are a few ways you and your child can honor their birth mother next month:
- Handmade Cards: Making cards will give your child the opportunity to equally express their creativity and feelings. A simple project like this could help your child become more comfortable with communicating and building a relationship with their birth mother.
- Preparing a Special Meal: Cooking or baking alongside your child can develop into a great bonding activity. Your child will have more fun throughout the cooking and baking process when they know the finished product is for someone special. A yummy treat always says “I love you.”
- Getting Together: It is perfectly normal for a birth mother to feel uncomfortable when they receive an invitation to hangout with the adoptive family. Inviting your child’s birth mother over for brunch is a great way to say “we are honored to have you in our lives.”
Whether or not a birth mother accepts your offer to spend time with them, the invitation alone means the world to them. Every birth mother is different, some need some time to distance themselves before they feel emotionally ready to engage with the family.
Ways to honor your child’s birth mother regardless of how “open” your relationship is with them:
- Take the time to sit down with your child and talk about their birth. Talk about what it felt like when everyone held you for the first time (birth family and adoptive family). Some parents may not have an ideal relationship with their child’s birth mother due to a variety of circumstances. At the end of the day it is important to pay tribute to the woman who gave birth to your child.
- Making a donation to a charity is another way to honor a birth mother. A great idea is to donate to an organization that advocates in some capacity.
Final Note:
There is no rule saying that women who place their child for adoption must exclusively celebrate their connection with motherhood on Birth Mother’s Day. Some birth mothers prefer to celebrate how motherhood came to them on the more mainstream holiday, Mother’s Day. Birth mother, adoptive mother, grandmother, birth grandmother, foster mother… at the end of the day we are all mothers. Everyone is entitled to celebrate their right of passage to motherhood on whichever day feels right.
