Michael and Marty officially began their adoption journey in the summer of 2013. Marty began by discussing the idea of adoption with Michael, letting him know that he was ready to adopt. The pair attended their first informational session at Adoptions From The Heart’s (AFTH) main office in Wynnewood, PA. They would begin the paperwork to become prospective parents the following year.
Their families were supportive of their decision to adopt. They helped their relatives gain a better understanding of open adoption by sharing the tips they learned during AFTH’s informational sessions. Everything from proper adoption language and how-tos on approaching the subject aided in their relative’s becoming more comfortable with their adoption journey.
Marty described being nervous at the beginning, as they were unsure of what the process would look like. The two knew what open adoption was but did know what it would look like for their family. Ultimately, all their anxiety melted away when they adopted their first daughter, Charlotte.
Michael and Marty would spend time with Charlotte’s birth mother, even meeting her birth grandmother as well. They all gathered at AFTH’s annual picnic, which brings adoptive and birth family members together to connect. Michael recalled how interesting speaking to Charlotte’s birth grandmother was. Hearing from her allowed him to note the similarities between his daughter and her birth mother as children.
It had been quite a whirlwind the day Charlotte was born. Michael and Marty had received the call that morning and needed to be at the hospital by 2 in the afternoon. Michael immediately left work to come home and pack with Marty. The couple made the drive from Pennsylvania down to Delaware, where they would soon meet their daughter. They recalled how excited they both were, going through their list of baby names during their trip to the hospital. Marty described arriving at the hospital as being like a movie scene. The couple was escorted to the hospital room and welcomed by everyone there. Pictures captured the moment they were able to see their daughter for the first time. However, they were very mindful of the gravity of the situation, especially for Charlotte’s birth mother. Relatives, friends, along with caring nurses helped the new parents care for newborn Charlotte. Although it was an adjustment, the family soon developed their own routine.
There was no question as to whether the two would adopt again, it was a matter of when they would adopt again. Michael and Marty said they also knew they would expand their family and wanted Charlotte to have a sibling. Four years later, they welcomed Norah to their family.
Adoption is never the same each time parents go through the process. Both Michael and Marty believed the process was smoother, yet harder in some areas when adopting Norah. They met her just a few days after her birth. Michael and Marty recalled the meeting being nice, with their family being able to meet Norah’s birth mother and her son. The fathers brought Charlotte along, allowing her to meet her sister and help her better understand what was happening.
Michael and Marty have created a book for Charlotte that would help her understand her background and unique story. Featured in the book are pictures from her first year of life, from the day she was born to all her first holidays. Included are pictures of Charlotte’s birth mother and family. They are creating a book for Norah as she grows older so that she will know her unique story as well.
Michael and Marty are very proactive in parenting and helping their girls understand how their family came to be. They say Charlotte is understanding more each day. Fatherhood has, of course, changed the couple’s couples lives completely. Marty stated that the pace of their lives has slowed down. Their home is now filled with toys and the playful laughter of two wonderful little girls. However, the fathers say the experience has been absolutely rewarding. They take time to enjoy all the little moments with their daughters. They can play, learn, and grow together, shaping their children into the best people they can be.
The openness between Michael, Marty, and their daughter’s birth families remains, with them exchanging pictures and letters at least once a year. The couple did express their hope for the openness in their relationships to grow more someday.
The fathers advised prospective adoptive parents to have patience during the adoption process. Waiting is never easy but can still be part of the journey to becoming parents. Research is incredibly important. They strongly encouraged prospective parents to take advantage of seminars and informational sessions that AFTH provides. The two noted that they were fortunate to have great social workers who were available to answer any questions they had. It is also immensely helpful to network and connect with other parents who have adopted. Michael and Marty were happy to help the new parents they met through AFTH, sharing the insights they gained after adopting for the first time. Most of all, they encouraged hopeful parents to “hang in there. What is meant to be, will be.”