Adoption is a beautiful thing, yet choosing adoption definitely comes with some obstacles. Below we have put together some of the potential obstacles you might face as a prospective adoptive parent in the adoption process.
Finances
One of the biggest obstacles towards prospective parents hoping to adopt is the cost. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, adoption through a private agency could cost $20,000-$40,000. This figure often includes court and legal fees, pre-adoption and post-adoption counseling, home study, and additional services. There is also the consideration of general expenses outside of the adoption itself. These expenses can include funding time off from work, items for your child, insurance, and more. Although it sounds costly, there is assistance available to prospective and newly adoptive parents.
Loans can help cover a portion if not most of your adoption expenses. Select banks may offer low-interest loans to help prospective parents complete the adoption process. There are also a few nonprofit organizations that run grant programs for parents in need. Grants are sums of money a recipient receives that do not require repayment. Organizations such as Helpusadopt.org and Gift of Adoption Fund offer generous donations to help families come together. Consider taking advantage of additional benefits such as adoption-related tax credits and employer parental-leave. Many employers are now offering leave to adoptive parents, understanding the importance of bonding time between parents and their children.
To learn more about resources for prospective parents please visit: http://afth.org/pdfs/education/help_with_adoption_expenses.pdf
Disappointment
Unfortunately, one of the most difficult aspects of adoption can be the waiting period. When prospective parents are selected to have a child placed with them, it makes the whole experience that much more rewarding. Sadly, this can be compounded by disappointment. In adoption, a disappointment occurs when a birth parent selects an adoptive family but changes their mind before the adoptive parents receive custody of the child.
This can be a highly emotional experience for adoptive parents. But it is vital to remain aware that disappointments are a possibility and that it will not dictate your ability to adopt in the future. Placing a child for adoption is a life-altering decision for birth parents and is not taken lightly. Remember that changes in their decision are personal and not meant to reflect on you as an adoptive parent. Strongly consider joining support groups for prospective parents to cope as you continue your adoption journey.
Disruption
Disruption, like disappointments, can also be difficult to navigate for hopeful parents. In adoption, a disruption occurs when birth parents change their mind after a child has already been placed with the adoptive parents. In these situations, it is unlikely that anyone can do or say anything to ease your pain. Your feelings are valid. After caring for and bonding with the child, it can be challenging to accept that things will not happen as you envisioned. However, you will overcome this as well. Although it may not feel like it, things will work out for the best, for you and the child. Stephanie Predmore authored a moving article for Kindredand.com, detailing the ways she and her husband coped after experiencing a disruption.
Support
In a perfect world, family and friends would always understand and support our decisions. However, that might not always be the case, even in adoption. Whether adoption is not what they envision for your family, anxiety about open adoption, or etc., it can be disheartening to prospective parents. Adopting a child is the time when parents need the most love and support. As mentioned, there can be unforeseen obstacles and parents will need love and strength to move forward and gain understanding.
If you are ever in need of additional support, do not hesitate to contact your social worker. Social workers are there to provide you with resources before, during, and after your adoption process. Join adoption-related support groups. These groups provide a great wealth of information, giving you insights on all members of the triad. You will gain a better understanding of birth parents and hear from adoptive parents who have been in your situation.
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