How to Best Support a Mother with an Adoption Plan as a Nurse

Working in the maternity ward as a nurse can be a beautiful, life changing experience. It can also be a stressful and complicated one. No two mothers are alike. No two fathers are alike. No two babies are alike. Providing support to so many different people during one of the biggest moments of their lives can be overwhelming. Especially if the expecting parents are considering placing their baby with a family through adoption.

Be a Nurse who Knows

Knowing how to talk to and support a mother who has decided to make an adoption plan instead of to parent is not easy, but it is a necessary skill for medical staff so they can best meet the needs of ALL their patients and not just those with more typical situations the staff may expect. The first step to helping women choosing adoption is knowing the facts. The biological mother has rights and is the decision maker for the child until she has officially signed the paperwork terminating those rights. Any questions should be directed to her, and not the adoptive parents until that time. As difficult as it may be to see happen and as much as your heart may break for the adoptive family, the biological mother also has the right to change her mind and chose to parent her child. However, that doesn’t mean that every mother wanting to bond with her newborn in the hospital is a red flag warning for a disruption. It may simply mean she wants to spend time being a mother and bonding while she has that precious time in the hospital.

Nurses need to be cognoscente of not only the birth parents, but also the adoptive parents and social workers who are involved. Many times we have heard medical staffs express their feelings that social workers are there to place the child with the adoptive parents as seamlessly as possible, when in actuality they are there working for the needs and desires of the expecting mother without placing any pressure or judgment. Adoption has changed a lot over the years, and social workers and agencies like AFTH are there to help the expecting parents no matter what, even if that means parenting.

Be a Nurse who Cares

The next step is offering personal support and being attentive. This will no doubt be a difficult day for everyone involved, possibly even for yourself, but it is important to not let your own judgment or opinion show through, no matter what the outcome is. When adoption occurs, so does loss. Birth mothers who create an adoption plan will still experience grief over the loss of their child. So although adoption may seem like a happy time of bringing together a family, keep in mind the other emotions of those involved. This attentiveness also involves knowing positive language surrounding adoption.
After the mother leaves the hospital, there is little you can do to soothe her loss however her adoption social worker will be sure to be there for her during this difficult time. However, while she is there, you can provide a shoulder to lean on and a kind word, such as “This must be very hard for you. I think you are so brave.” You can also teach her about support outside of the maternity ward, such as help for postpartum depression.

Take a Nurse CEU Adoption Course

Helping a mother in the hospital who is placing her child for adoption may sound like a tall order, but Adoptions From The Heart is now able to offer free CEU credits special adoption related trainings they are able to provide for nurses.

Currently, there is one course being offered, Infant Adoption Awareness Training. It is a free course for Registered Nurses, and participants will receive one CEU credit for one hour of training. The adoption social workers will be hosting this training in hospitals and clinics to accommodate the hectic schedules of the medical world.

In this course participants will