An unplanned pregnancy can be scary and overwhelming. It can feel like your entire life is going off track, and the choices you are faced with can feel impossible to make. As a friend of someone experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, it can be hard to know how to support them. What do you say? How can you help them? At this time in their life, what they need most is a support system. Knowing how to be the best friend you can be during this time can make this tough situation a little easier.
Try to stay positive
When someone announces an unplanned pregnancy, the reactions from their friends and family can be less than enthusiastic. Especially if they’re not at a point in their life where they feel prepared to start a family. These negative reactions can make a scary situation feel even worse. Try not to jump to the worst-case scenario when they tell you. Every negative thought is something they’ve probably already thought about themselves or heard from someone else. Try to keep initial reactions away from your own opinions, and instead check in to see how they’re feeling and what their thoughts are at that time. During this time, it’s important to take a step back and think before you speak. Your words, as their friend, have the potential to deeply affect them. It’s important not to say anything that could make them feel worse.
Listen to her without judgement
As their friend, it makes sense that you want what’s best for them. However, when helping them through an unplanned pregnancy, your own opinions should take the backseat on this one. They may already have people in their life who are pressuring them to make a certain decision. They don’t need more stress; they need an ear to listen to them and a shoulder to lean on. Make sure to give them the space they need to openly share their emotions- the good and the bad. Talking through an issue can help people weigh their options, and they should have a safe place to do so without facing judgement. No matter what choice they make regarding the pregnancy, that decision will affect the rest of their life. It should be the choice that is best for them, not what anyone else thinks it would be.
Offer encouragement
Finding out you’re pregnant unexpectedly can be a very lonely experience. They can feel scared and may start to isolate themselves to try to ignore their pregnancy. People can feel trapped in a pregnancy, and the array of options can feel overwhelming. During this time, the words “you’ve got this” could mean more to them than you know. They may already be experiencing self-doubt and feeling bad about themselves for finding themselves in this situation. Your reminders that they’re capable of overcoming this can help pull them out of their spiral. Some encouragement can make a world of difference to someone who feels like they can’t handle it.
Show up for them
Being friends means supporting each other during good and bad times. Being able to offer any help, whether it be going to doctors’ appointments with them or taking the time to check in with them, can help relieve some of their stress. Remember, during this time, face-to-face connection is important. It’s easy to send the occasional text, but showing up for them will show them that you care.
Being a good friend throughout someone’s pregnancy means practicing empathy and support. It’s important to be there for them during this time and to continue to be supportive even once their pregnancy ends, no matter what decision they ultimately make.
