My mom has always been incredibly open with me about adoption. When I really stop and think about it, I have quite a few family members who were adopted. My mom, my aunt (my mom’s sister), my uncle (my dad’s brother), and my cousin-in-law were all adopted as infants. Few people I know have many adopted relatives on both sides of their family. I happen to have both. As a child, I was very curious about adoption, and my mom never shied away from the topic.
My grandparents adopted my mom a few weeks after she was born. My aunt had also been adopted by them two years prior. They were born less than a decade before the historic ruling of Roe v. Wade. Although access to abortion may have impacted my mom and aunt’s birth, both of them have remained staunchly pro-choice, something I admire.
My mom was brought up knowing who her parents were: two college students who were eighteen years old at the time of her birth. She knew their names and why they had chosen adoption, but not much aside from that. Back then, open adoption was scarcely heard of. I remember asking my mom why she had not tried to contact her birth mother. She told me she assumed her birth mom had gotten older, gotten married and likely had other children. She assumed she would not want to be reminded of her past life.
My uncle was adopted by my grandparents on my dad’s side. He was also adopted as an infant due to my grandparents experiencing infertility after having my dad. His adoption was even more closed off, as he was not told about his birth family at all while growing up. He was born just one year before Roe v. Wade took place, so my family has assumed his birth parents chose adoption for this reason.
When I started working at Adoptions From The Heart, I was only aware of adoption through the context of my family members. Open adoption was a term I had never even heard of. After working at the agency and becoming familiar with so many cases of open adoption, I often find myself wondering how open adoption would have impacted my family.
Open adoption and its effects on people are crucial to keep in mind when choosing adoption. It’s futile to wonder how my life and my family’s lives may have been different if open adoption was an option back in the 60s and 70s. I do know that the positive impact open adoption has on every member of the adoption triad is undeniable. These impacts will affect people for the rest of their lives, so they must be valued.
