How has your experience as an adoptee shaped the way you approach your work with clients? Does it change how you advocate for open adoption?
“My experience reminds me that adoption is lifelong, not a single event. I approach families with an awareness that the decisions made today will echo decades into the future. It absolutely shapes how I advocate for open adoption, as someone who was unable to have one.. I can truly see the benefit it could have for the entire adoption triad.” – Emily
“My experience as an adoptee has provided me with great insight into working with adoptive families. It allows my counseling to be adoptee focused. I believe that for both adoptive families and birth families, when I counsel, I am able to use personal anecdotes mixed with my university background and it is better received as it’s not like I am just reciting something from a textbook or manual. Lastly, through conversations I have had with my birth mom, I am able to learn of her experience and understand the perspective of birth parents a little better. Our relationship has developed over the last 10 years or so, so I understand the ebbs and flows of open adoptions. These experiences have allowed me to advocate for open adoption as I pull from both literature and lived experiences of either myself or others who I have spoken with.” – Christian
“The way it has shaped the way that I have approached it so far with my families is being very open about the process about what I had growing up but reminding them that every story is different and it won’t all be the same. Open Adoption is beautiful because both families can come together to love the child/ren. I’m still personally understanding my own adoption story and that will continue to grow as I get older and continue to educate myself.” – Talia
“My experience as an adoptee shapes how I show up with both adoptive families and expecting/birth families. Growing up as an adoptee gave me a lived understanding that adoption is a lifelong experience that evolves as a child grows. I’m especially attuned to the emotional complexity that can exist alongside love and stability: questions of identity, grief, loyalty, and belonging can all coexist. Because of that, I approach my work with a strong emphasis on honesty, preparation, and empathy. With adoptive families, I encourage curiosity about a child’s inner world and help normalize conversations about adoption from the very beginning. With expecting and birth families, I’m careful to honor their autonomy and emotions, recognizing that their decision comes from a place that deserves respect, not pressure or erasure. Being an adoptee definitely influences how I think about and advocate for open adoption. I know every situation is different and that openness can look many ways, but my own experience has shown me how valuable connection and access to your own story can be. When done thoughtfully and with clear boundaries, open adoption can support adoptees in making sense of their identity and lessen feelings of mystery or loss. I don’t see openness as a one-size-fits-all ideal, but as a child-centered approach that values transparency, ongoing communication, and flexibility over time. At the end of the day, my goal is to help families build adoption relationships rooted in respect, realism, and the long-term well-being of the child.” – Jackie
In our next blog, our social workers will respond to “What do you wish expectant parents, adoptive parents, or other social workers knew about the adoptee perspective that is often overlooked? ” and “What advice would you give other agencies or social workers who want to center the adoptee voice in their work with adoptive and birth families?”
