Christian ‘s adoption has been a journey of discovery, acceptance, and healing that has shaped his identity in profound ways. Five years into the reunion with his birth family, he has experienced highs and lows, finding joy and a sense of belonging in this intricate web of relationships.
The acceptance of his feelings surrounding his adoption was a milestone. It marked the validation of his experiences, shared by many adoptees. It’s an ongoing process, but today, Christian found a greater ease in embracing his adoption and witnessing the joy it’s brought to both his adoptive and birth families.
Longing For an Older Brother
A pivotal moment that kickstarted his journey toward emotional healing was a moment with his older brother.
“A large healing moment that got the ball rolling, came when I was 21 and my birth brother pushed me on a swing. That unlocked all the memories I had of longing for an older brother to play outside with.”
Therapy became a guiding light in navigating this complex terrain. Finding an adoption-competent therapist and witnessing his parents’ efforts in understanding and supporting him were essential in establishing a secure foundation for healing and relationship-building.
The road isn’t without its challenges. Cultural disconnection compounded his struggles.
“Being a “white-passing” Latino really left me with a large identity crisis. Now in my late 20’s I have really been doing my best to reclaim my culture.”
Mental Health
Another facet intricately tied to his adoption journey were his mental health battles. Unaddressed depression, coupled with the revelation of its prevalence in his birth family, highlighted the importance of mental health awareness within the adoption narrative.
Navigating conversations about adoption Christian says this:
“Now that I am older, if the person has been respectful through prior conversations, I let them know I am an open book and to ask away. If it is someone who may not realize the impact of their words, I will do my best to help educate them so that they can make others feel more welcome.”
If I am not in the head space to talk that personally, I let them know that, but I make sure to let them know I would like to follow up at a different time if they would be interested in that.”
Words From Chistian
My advice to someone wanting to adopt would be to educate themselves. It would be weird for any parent if they weren’t a little worried about raising a child. We now have so much information, tools, and resources. Using that information and putting what they learned into action will save them so much energy in the long run.
