The holidays are a time for gathering and celebrating all that you have in your life.
When you are waiting for an expectant parent to choose your family to raise their baby, the holidays can have you stressed and dreading friends and family gatherings.
Waiting For Good News: Handling Friends & Family Over The Holidays
No matter how much you love your nieces and nephews or your pregnant sister-in-law, they may also be a reminder of what you are missing.
These feelings of dread and isolation may seem wrong, but they are pretty common among waiting families, couples and singles.
Tips For Expectant Parents
We hope that our tips below are able to minimize the holiday stress you might be feeling.
- Family gatherings can be filled with family members who just don’t get why you are adopting or are nosey and ask you very uncomfortable questions. If this is the case, skip the big gatherings and save them for less emotionally-charged holidays.
- You might want to shut down and not work on anything related to adoption. That is perfectly fine and you should do as much as you feel comfortable with.
- You might find comfort surrounding yourself with those who support you and your decision to adopt, so have a get-together with them and celebrate the holidays that way.
- If you are having a hard time, it might help to do something for yourself and your partner like a spa day or a weekend get-away at a bed and breakfast.
- Join a waiting parent support group through your agency. Talking with others who are in a similar situation to you can help tremendously.
- If you have been through IVF or infertility, you might want to limit your time with pregnant women, and that is perfectly fine. You need to take care of yourself and know when you can and can’t handle certain situations.
- Journaling is often a great way to get through tough times.
- Remember to take care of yourself by exercising, getting enough sleep and eating well.
Finally, and this may be hard to hear but it is very important while you are waiting, enjoy yourself! Have that extra glass of wine, go out with your friends, and splurge on the expensive chocolate that you love!
It’s important because this time next year you could have your hands very full with an infant, toddler, or child. You will have to skip out on the extra glass or find a babysitter to have a night out. Just try to enjoy yourself and the company you have this holiday.
When you get chosen, it will be with the right child and birth family. Until then, try not to worry about it because it will happen when it happens.
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