In domestic infant adoption, it’s safe to say that prospective adoptive parents will likely experience transracial adoption. If not themselves, someone they may know or meet during their adoption journey. In most cases, prospective adoptive parents say that they don’t care about race or ethnicity. In reality, race and culture will matter, especially to the adoptee who’s already lost pieces of themselves.
For this very reason, that’s why educating yourself on transracial issues and culturizing to meet your child’s needs as they grow are prime aspects of being a great adoptive parent.
At Adoptions From The Heart, we do our part in educating prospective adoptive parents from the beginning. We provide training, webinars, and support groups, to all prospective adoptive parents, in case of a transracial placement. However, sometimes there is no better lesson than the ones you learn in real-time; real life.
Here are some suggested tips to start you on your path of being the best transracial adoptive parent you can be.
1) Acknowledge that different races are treated differently
As a parent, we think our number one priority is to raise our children knowing that they are loved and are supported. While that may be true, we also have to acknowledge the damage that could be done if said child grows up and is thrown into a world they are not prepared for. As an adoptive parent, you are responsible for first, cultivating yourself and then guiding your adoptive child through challenges that may arise.
2) Find trusted friends/ family who can answer the questions you cant
Your child will automatically come to you because you’re mom/dad. But the truth of the matter is, there are just some questions you can’t answer for them. This is where your village comes in. Having trusted persons that love your child and that you know has their best interest at heart, will provide them role models and safe spaces to just feel.
3) Don’t be afraid to ask questions
As a transracial adoptive parent, there will be lots of uncharted territories you will face. Truth be told, you won’t always know what to do right away. Let’s take skin shades and hair textures for example. The way we care for those things can be different and the only way to figure out what’s best is by researching and learning by seeking answers from others experiencing the same thing.
4) Submerge yourself into communities in which your child can begin to develop relationships with people who look like them
This is so important. Your child needs to develop their relationships just like we all have from school age on up. At Adoptions From The Heart, we have adoptive parents who decide to switch churches, move to different neighborhoods, and more, to gain diversity. We don’t always think about future impacts and often forget that baby adoptees eventually grow into adult adoptees. If not exposed to their cultures, people who reflect themselves, it’s a high chance they could develop issues with self-identity and discovery.
These are just a few suggestions, but there are tons more to learn when considering transracial adoption. There’s no guidebook to being the perfect parent, nor right or wrong ways of loving a child unconditionally. However, it is important, as an adoptive parent, that you create safe spaces for your child to explore and develop into themselves. The journey isn’t the parents, it’s always been the children’s. Prioritizing their needs over yours should always be considered. Remember, even though you gained a new love, they’ve lost a piece of theirs.
Adoptions From The Heart is currently offering online webinars, two of which are courses that directly target understanding and explain transracial adoption. If you would like to learn more about these courses or any others, you may visit our website at https://afth.org/community-education/educational-series-seminars/ or click here to get direct access to registration https://b.afth.org/webinars2021/.
