Our Fall 2020 Birth Parent Scholarship winner Christina Smith is a talented woman, as much as she is a driven woman. We did not get the chance to go into full detail about this before, but one of Christina’s many gifts is her ability to express herself through music. Singing and songwriting have always been an outlet for Christina, especially when life takes her on an unprecedented turn of hardships.
Facing an unplanned pregnancy is one of the hardest things a person can go through. Christina’s life was never same upon discovering she was pregnant. Christina chose adoption for her son and is happy with his parents that she chose for him, but happiness still coexists with grief for the birth parent. She finds that sometimes the best way to process her grief is through music. When she is not writing music she is listening to music.
We asked Christina is she ever wrote a song about her son but that has been a work in progress. “I would love to write him a song, and I’ve tried,” said Christina. “A month ago or something I was trying to do it [write] in the care, thinking about it [song]. It’s hard because there’s specific things I want to say but I don’t know how to put it into words, and melodies are hard. Usually I’m just singing and make a slight story as I go along.”
We imagine that writing you a song about someone you love so much takes time because it is perhaps the most important one you’ll ever write. However, we know that once Christina has the song down it will be golden. In the meantime there are songs by other artists that continue to inspire Christina when she is feeling down.
When Christina feels discouraged and helpless her go to song is “Somedays” by Andy Frasco and the U.N. The chorus of the song that really speaks to her:
Some days you’ll feel great
Some days you’ll feel so low
Don’t let your sorrows
Drown in your tomorrows
And take it as it goes
For Christina this song represents the feeling that your day may be really hard, but tomorrow could be better. The days following her son’s birth left Christina lonely with an endless stream of tears running down her face. Then at the right moment she heard the “Somesdays” play on her Pandora station and suddenly she is seeing and feeling things differently. “You just got to let the things that are hurting you today not affect the happiness you could have the next day,” said Christina.”You know those hard days are coming, but you know it won’t be everyday.”
The pain a birth parent feels may not ever go away, but your life will brighten up again if you surround yourself with people you love and uplifting art.
To learn more about Christina check out the post we did a few weeks ago that highlights her journey as a birth parent and her goals for the future here: https://afth.org/afth-fall-2020-birth-parent-scholarship-winner-christina-smith/