Social workers often counsel married couples who are wondering how to place a baby up for adoption when the couple is faced with an unplanned pregnancy. There are many reasons why married couples choose adoption. For example, they are not ready to be parents, they may wish to not expand their family, or, some couples do not want to have children. Oftentimes other variables are present such as finances, domestic violence or infidelity.
Stigmas that Married Couples Face
With all adoptions, social stigmas and stereotypes are present. This is especially true for married couples placing a child for adoption. They often face a different kind of pressure and judgment from the community because they are often viewed as “stable” as opposed to single couples; therefore, people assume that they should raise their child and not choose adoption. As a result, their decision may be subjective to what their family or friends think their choice should be, and they may be ill-prepared with the response that they feel comfortable sharing. Despite these influences, the choice of placing a child for adoption should solely belong to the couple.
The Emotional Toll
Married couples placing a child for adoption often deal with emotions ranging from loss, sorrow, separation, hope and acceptance. Social workers can help couples work through their feelings as well as providing referrals for additional counseling.
When considering adoption, it is never an easy choice for anybody. Birth parents choose adoption for their child because they are unable to provide a stable relationship or environment.
Relationships with the Child’s Adoptive Parents
The choice of whether to have an open, semi-open or closed adoption relationship varies for each family and situation. For open adoptions, they are successful when all parties work together. Sometimes one partner may want an open relationship, and the other parent may not. Each adoption plan is dealt with on an individual basis, and the social worker will help to make arrangements accordingly.
Resources for Married Couples
Some couples may seek marital counseling during the process or afterward as they adjust to their new normal. Many adoption agencies offer support groups to their clients, or the client(s) may seek individual support from their adoption counselor. When navigating through this process, it is important for all birth parents to have a support system. For married couples in particular, oftentimes the emotions involved with placing a child can spill over into other marital issues. Additionally, social workers recommend that married couples placing a child for adoption also connect with other married couples who have placed as well.
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