If you or someone you know is either pregnant or recently gave birth, and you are wanting to acquire more information about placing a baby for adoption or making an adoption plan, there are a couple of steps to the adoption process. Not sure where to start? These eight steps below will help you to navigate the adoption process smoothly. These steps may differ depending on your comfort level, if you choose to move forward with the adoption process, or if you are working with an adoption agency or an adoption attorney. Regardless of what choice you make, these steps can act as a starting place for you to begin your journey. If you would like to speak to one of our counselors, they are available 24/7 to help you by calling (888)-565-4059.
Exploring your options
When experiencing an unexpected pregnancy, the first step is to explore and consider all your options. In addition to parenting, terminating and adoption are other options that you may be interested in learning more about. Although there is plentiful information on the internet about each of these options, it can be beneficial to speak to an adoption professional who can help you get the best education on each of these options. They can also offer you other resources that you may find helpful. They are here to make the adoption process as uncomplicated as possible.
Every circumstance is different. If you do not have friends or family that can help you through this process, it is important to look for support in someone that you can trust.
If you decide that you want to work with an adoption agency, adoption counselors are a great way to learn about your options. Adoptions From The Heart has counselors that will work with you and communicate your options in a nonbiased setting.
Discussing Adoption with the Birth Father
If you decide that adoption is the right option and you feel good about it, the next step is discussing this option with the baby’s father. This can be a difficult conversation to have for both people. If the father is someone that is still in your life, your adoption counselor will be able to sit down with the two of you and help you steer the conversation. They will also be able to help answer any questions that the Birth Father may have.
If the Birth Father is no longer in your life, your adoption counselor can also help you figure out your next steps in the adoption plan and can hopefully help attain the Birth Father’s consent.
Telling your Family
Along the lines of speaking with the father, it could be beneficial to start discussing the idea of adoption with your family. If you are considering adoption because you feel as though you do not have the resources or support necessary to raise a child, there is always the possibility that a family member or not-so-distant relative will come forward and offer to assist you with parenting the baby. It is almost definite that your emotions are very high at this point, so looking for support within your family and close friends could be the extra support that you need. The most important thing is that you choose the option that is in the best interest of both you and your baby. Your Adoption Social Worker will continue to work with you through this and will help you have these difficult conversations if you wish. It is their goal to guarantee that you make the best choice for you and your baby.
Choosing the Type of Adoption for You
If you come to and settle on the conclusion that adoption is the right choice for you, you may want to begin to investigate the different kinds of adoption options to find what you think will best fit your wants and needs. During this time, it can help to envision your newborn baby and their adoptive family. What kind of relationship do you want to have with them?
Open Adoption is one option that you have. Open Adoption is an adoption that allows for some form of association between the birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents. This can range from picture and letter sharing, to phone calls, to contact through an intermediary, to open contact between the parties themselves. It can also be known as “cooperative adoption.” Some women feel that this is a comforting option because they feel that direct contact with their child is what will make them most comfortable. They will be able to know and maintain a relationship with their child’s family so she knows that the child is in good hands and can see the child several times a year if she wishes.
Another option is Semi-Open Adoption. In this type of adoption, you can have contact with the adoptive family, but through the adoption agency. The family can send photos and updates to the adoption agency, and then the agency or your social worker will pass these along to you. This is a great option if you want updates, but do not want direct contact.
Closed Adoption is an adoption where there is no contact between birth parents and adoptive parents. Also called traditional adoption. Sometimes potential birth mothers find this to be the easiest option to move forward with, as having contact might be too emotionally difficult.
Although one of these types of adoptions may interest you right now, know that you may change your mind about the level of openness you prefer over the next weeks or months of your pregnancy. It is typical for birth parents to lean towards one type of adoption and then shift their thinking.
Meeting the Family (if You Wish to)
If you decide that you would like an Open Adoption, you can choose the family by looking at profiles, and then you can meet the family before the baby’s birth. Through adoption agencies, there is usually a casual meeting set up with the Expectant Parent(s) and Adoptive Parent(s) of their choice. This can help you feel more confident in your decision and like you are making the right choice before the adoption placement occurs.
Giving Birth
When it is time for your child’s birth, your adoption counselor will continue to support you through the process. They will be at the hospital making sure your needs are being met and that you feel comfortable. Your adoption counselor will never make you feel pressured to move forward with adoption if it is not what you are 100% set on. This is when new moms tend to change their minds about adoption and make the choice to parent their baby- which is fully supported!
Some women have family, or a friend visit them while they are in the hospital, but other times they want more privacy. Whichever you prefer, your adoption counselor will be there to support and help you whenever and with whatever you need.
Signing Paperwork
If after your child’s birth, you are still feeling solid in your adoption plan, you can begin to sign consents. You will never be pressured to move forward with adoption and are welcome to continue to explore other options if you wish. If you feel completely confident in adoption, this is when the legal paperwork will be signed. After that, you will no longer have your parental rights. This is when the adoptive family signs their paperwork and gets custody of the baby.
This may be a difficult time for you, as you likely be feeling grief and loss. In addition to counseling resources, you can get connected with other birth parents who have gone through this process, as well as birth parent support groups. Just because the paperwork has been signed, this does not mean that your adoption counselor will no longer be there for you.
Staying in Touch (if You Would Like)
If you made the choice to have an Open Adoption, your adoption professional will help you establish contact with the Adoptive Family so that everyone feels comfortable staying in touch. At any time, you get to the point in which you no longer need an adoption professional to help you navigate your relationship, you can express this. They will still be there for you if you need them in the future.
After reading these steps, hopefully, you feel more confident knowing the steps involved in the adoption process! It is so important to be in contact with a reputable adoption agency. If you want to discuss adoption or your other options at any point, feel free to contact us at (888)-565-4059. If you would like more information, please visit our website at www.afth.org!
