If you are currently pregnant, and questioning your readiness to parent a child, you may feel overwhelmed by the situation. That’s okay; few events in life are more loaded with emotion and difficulty than bearing a child and becoming a successful parent. An unplanned pregnancy can throw the future into doubt, as you’re presented with many potential courses of action. This post was designed to help you look fully at your current life situation, your hopes and dreams, your surroundings, and the people in your life. These can be good indicators of whether or not you’re ready to parent.
Questions To Ask Myself
1. Am I emotionally mature enough to care responsibly for another life, in addition to my own?
Parenting a child often requires sacrificing the present, immediate pleasures, making healthy long-term choices to support the well-being of your child. Are you ready to make those choices in your child’s best interest? Are you ready, and able, to put your child’s needs before your own?
2. Am I ready to educate myself about parenting and healthy child development?
Parenting is a continual learning process. And while experience is a wonderful teacher, it’s important to draw on the knowledge of others. Are you ready to devote considerable time to learning about your child, both biologically and psychologically?
3. How do I handle my own emotions, my anger, my sadness?
Parenting a child is a journey filled with intense emotions. And while many parents are vocal about the joys of raising children, they are less so about its frequent frustrations. Are you able to calm yourself down when things get heated?
4. What are my goals?
Everyone has different hopes and desires. Whether or not you have a concrete plan, there are things you want to do with your life. Does parenting a child fit into those goals? Can you realistically follow your dreams and care for another life? If not, are you willing to sacrifice your goals for your child’s well-being?
Questions To Ask My Partner
1. Is my partner willing to parent our child with me?
Even if the answer appears to be “yes,” is your relationship with your partner strong enough to bear the difficulties of raising a child? Would your partner fully commit to your baby, giving their time, energy, and share of the necessary finances?
If not, are you capable and willing to be a single parent?
2. Are we on the same page when it comes to parenting?
Do you and your partner share the same views on “correct” parenting? Do you think your views on religion, discipline, the importance of family, and work, could come between you?
Most relationship experts agree that it’s not so much that you agree on key issues, but how you deal with disagreements. When you disagree on one of life’s “big questions,” do you honor the other’s opinion? Do you think one of these disagreements could be detrimental to the development of your child?
3. What are my partner’s future goals?
Even if your partner seems willing to parent now, how does that desire play out in the future? Do you think they will be able to sacrifice their goals for your child?
Questions About My Environment
1. Will my current situation accommodate a child, safely and comfortably?
Look around. Look at the place where you live, and the people with whom you spend time. Consider the things you do everyday. Is the place you see suitable for a child?
If not, can you give these things up for your child’s health? Can you afford to move, if your living situation isn’t adequate? Are you willing to change?
2. Will my family support me?
If you choose to parent your child, will your family stand behind your decision? Do you think they’ll be willing to help when things get hard?
If not, are you capable of parenting a child without their aid?
Questions About My Resources
1. Do I know how much it costs to adequately provide for a child?
The medical expenses that accompany giving birth cost around $24,000 alone.
For a more comprehensive look at the costs of raising a newborn, we’ve put together an estimate here. These numbers aren’t in any way meant to scare you away from parenting. But it’s essential that you have a realistic expectation of the costs involved in raising a child.
2. Does my current financial situation allow for these expenses?
If not, is there something that I can do to change my situation, to better prepare myself for the expenses of raising a child?
These are some of the many questions that you should ask yourself, and answer honestly, before you can make an informed decision that takes into account the well-being of your child and your own. None of the above questions have a “right” answer, one that would definitively indicate whether or not you’re prepared to parent a child. But if an underlying theme has emerged, if there’s a tone that most of your answers share, that might be a good reason to consider your other options. Only after careful thought can you make the right choice for both you and your baby.
Whether you know that you want to make an adoption plan or are just looking to learn more about the option, our staff is here to help, no matter what you ultimately choose. We offer counseling services for pregnant women considering their options. Please don’t hesitate to contact us.
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