Father’s Day is just around the corner! With the holiday approaching this Sunday, we wanted to find out what some AFTH Fathers thought about celebrating. Perspectives on the holiday can be different for everyone, whether you grew up as an adopted child, you have adopted children, or you are a birth father to an adopted child. We talked with a two AFTH fathers to hear their thoughts.**
Meet Samai. Samai is a birth father who placed his child for adoption. That adoption was finalized in 2014 and he has a very open relationship with the family. He is able to communicate with them often and spend quality time with his child.
Meet Joe. Joe is not only an adoptive father who just finalized the adoption of his child this past September, he is also an adopted child himself. Joe was adopted through a closed adoption in 1975. In the Fall of 2013, Joe and his wife started on their journey to become parents through adoption. Henry, their son, was born two years later.
How did you celebrate father’s day growing up?
S: Coming from a single parent home with my father not around, it just sort of came and went. Some years we would send cards or some formal communication was made, but it wasn’t really celebrated.
J: Just took Dad out to breakfast, nothing too crazy.
How do you feel about the upcoming holiday and how do you hope to celebrate?
S: I’m looking forward to it. I’ve received cards and words of gratitude from my child’s adoptive family in years past. Mostly I will take the day to honor myself and relax.
J: It’s important to bring attention to the work and wonder of fathers, but also know that everyone’s different. For me, if it almost feels like a normal day, that’d be great.
Samai, do you have any wants for how your child will celebrate with his family on Father’s Day?
S: To form knowledge of the day and also to honor him, his adoptive father, as I would want to be honored.
Joe, do you have any advice for adoptive father’s approaching Father’s Day?
J: Be patient…in all parts of the process. Even once you’re home. That bond with your child will be created. From my experience, I’ve come to understand that blood does not make relationships.
Samai, do you have any advice for birth fathers who may be struggling with the emotions of the upcoming holiday?
S: Don’t look at it as a day just about you. It’s all about the child getting the best care. So honor yourself for having the ability to see and do that for them.
No dad is the same, that’s for sure! No matter how they are related to a child’s life, their courage and love is worth celebrating. But first ask the fathers in your life how they want to be celebrated, if at all. Everyone experiences fatherhood differently, and we can help honor them by considering their perspective before whipping out the new golf clubs. Find out more about fathers, mothers, adoptees, and the adoption process on our website.
**These responses came from notes from phone conversations with the participants. As there was no recording device, these responses may not depict exact quotes, but elements of the conversation.
