What Birth Parents need to hear from You

  1. “You are worthy”- Remind your friends that their heart was in the right place when they made the decision to place their child for adoption. Placing a child for adoption is never an easy decision, but they made it because at that moment in their life they would not be able to give their child the life they would want for them.
  2. “How is your (insert name of son or daughter)?”- If you know that your friend/relative who is a birth parent has a semi-open or open adoption relationship, show them that you have an interest in them. Like all mothers and fathers, their child is an important part of their life, pretty much their heart and soul. It is heartwarming when someone asks to see even just a picture of their child. Every time they show the picture they’ll most likely have a big smile on their face. It may remind them of a recent happy visit.
  3. “I know I may not personally understand everything you are going through, but I am always here for you.”- It is hard to relate to what an individual birth parent is going through post-placement unless you experienced it first hand. It is ok that you may not have all the answers or know what to say to your friend when they are nervous about opening up a letter from the adoptive parents. Just the mere fact that you show up for your friend to listen and hold them as they cry means the world to them. You can also help them help themselves cope by encouraging them to talk to their adoption counselor and finding therapeutic resources. On your end, consider researching what a person in their position had to go through, including learning all about how to place a baby up for adoption, to be able to better understand their perspective.
  4. “You are important”-While birth parents are not the ones raising their child, they still play a big role in their life. Through open adoption birth parents are able to establish a special bond with their child, and teach them things only they can teach them.

If you searched: “how to put a baby up for adoption”, you are in the right place.