A Birth Parent’s Guide to Facing Post-Placement Feelings: Anger

A Birth Parent’s Guide to Facing Post-Placement Feelings: Anger

It is inevitable that you will feel anger with yourself, your child’s adoptive parents, what others say, family, friends and etc. A lot of you may start to overthink and say, “Is my anger a sign that I made the wrong decision?” The answer is NO.

Anger is normal even under the best of circumstances in adoption. It is important to let your anger out, but it is also important not to let it consume you. Instead of letting it consume you, talk it out.

If you find that you are angry with your child’s adoptive parents, communicate that to them. People are not mind readers, so the adoptive parents might not know whatever they did or didn’t do bothered you. Be open and honest about your anger, with that said do not act in the heat of the moment.

All of a sudden you may find yourself in a lot of rage over a situation involving your child’s adoptive parents. Before you call up the adoptive about why you are angry, take a breath and think about what you really should say to them. Acting impulse will only lead to unnecessary drama. At the peak of our anger we often think or say something that we truly do not mean. A person you know very well may know you are just speaking out of anger, but that does not prevent them from feeling hurt. Remember your child’s adoptive parents are still getting to know you!

Before dialing the phone, write down everything you want to address with the adoptive parents. Explain what exactly makes you angry on paper. Once you have documented your anger on paper, read it over for edits like you would for a class essay. Make sure you are clear about what is bothering you, then erase anything that can come off as inappropriate or hateful. Once you have scanned what you wrote, have an unbiased friend or family member look it over as well. Use what you wrote as your guide to express yourself and not digress on the phone with them.

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A Birth Parent’s Guide to Facing Post-Placement Feelings: Grief


By |2019-06-12T17:11:35-04:00June 26th, 2019|Adoptions, For Adoptive Parents, For Pregnant Women|Comments Off on A Birth Parent’s Guide to Facing Post-Placement Feelings: Anger

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