Join the Stoneking family as they discuss their adoption experience with Adoptions From The Heart. Adoptive parents Chad and Jelana, having navigated a largely smooth adoption process, encourage others to embrace the experience despite initial fears. Open conversations about adoption have been integral in fostering a positive environment for their daughter Mia, now 15, to discuss her birth and adoption journey openly. They advocate for setting boundaries and maintaining open communication for a successful open adoption, emphasizing the importance of understanding the complexities and promoting the positive aspects of adoption.
Challenges Faced During the Adoption Process (Chad and Jelana):
“We both feel that we had a pretty smooth adoption process. The main challenge was just our fear of the unknown. But looking back, we wish we would have enjoyed the process more fully because everything has turned out wonderfully.”
Conversations About Adoption
“Chad & I have always talked very openly about adoption and used the word “adoption” frequently as Mia learned to talk. We always wanted to use that word in a positive connotation and [for] her to be comfortable in that she is adopted. When she was going to kindergarten, we sat down and talked to her about who her birth parents were, and we made a photo album of her birth and adoption journey to help her understand how she ended up here. Now that she is 15 we continue to have a very open dialogue about adoption and any questions that may arise.”
Advice for Families Considering Adoption (Jelana):
“I would say to just do it. Of course, we were nervous and, like I said before, fearful. But it has been the greatest decision the both of us have made in our lives. Our experience has been so positive. I hope that it will be positive for others as well.”
Relationship with Birth Family (Mia):
“I am lucky in that I get to have annual meetings with my birth family. So that is how I build my relationship with them. We get to meet every year, spend the day together, and really get to know one another. It has been really awesome.”
Growing Up Adopted (Mia):
“I do not feel that it is any different than growing up not adopted. I have never felt that I was treated differently when people found out that I was adopted. Most people think it is pretty cool. And all of my close friends ask me questions about my birth parents when I get to go visit them. Other than that, I am a regular teenage girl.”
Advice to Adoptees from an Adoptee (Mia):
“Embrace it! It is part of who you are.”
Successful Open Adoption (Jelana):
“I think in the beginning, the most important thing is to set up boundaries that both parties are comfortable with. And then, as your relationship grows and you build trust, open communication is also important. Also, coming from a place of gratitude and respect is important on both sides as well.”
Understand the Complexities of Adoption
“Adoptions From The Heart is doing a good job of putting information out there and educating the public about how amazing an open adoption can be. I think if people can see inside of a positive relationship, it helps them to better understand how a triad works. I think people think of adoption in a negative light, so we repeatedly tell people how amazing our adoption experience has been. And Mia would tell you having access to her birth parents is one of the greatest gifts in her life.”
