A Father’s Day chat with Samai, an Adoptions From The Heart birth father

February 3, 2014, is a day that a Delaware birth father named Samai will never forget. This was the day his son Ian was born. Being a father means doing what you feel is best for your child, even if the decision breaks your heart. For Samai that meant placing his child for adoption.

In the beginning, Samai was unsure what the future would hold for his relationship with his son Ian. Samai may not be there every day to bond with Ian after school, but open adoption gives Samai that chance to do fun things with his son on occasion. Above all open adoption gives Samai the opportunity to be a fatherly figure in Ian’s life.

In this Q&A with Samai, the birth reflects on the journey leading up to placing his son for adoption, his cherished relationship with Ian and his parents, and the importance of sharing his story as a birth father.

How far along was your partner when she told you she was pregnant with Ian?

I would say she was 6-7 weeks before we broke it off. 

Why were you opposed to making an adoption plan at first? What did you know about adoption at that point in your life? 

My opposition to the adoption was clearly based on me wanting to continue to be with the birth mother at the time. As things moved towards us parting ways I was not open to the adoption at first before I was educated on the process entirely which later changed my mind.

Were you involved in looking over the prospective adoptive parents and deciding on Ryan & Mary-Ann? If so, what were your initial thoughts about them? 

Yes! My first thoughts were that they were African American and their profile really sold me even more.

As a father yourself, what are some fatherly traits you admire about Ryan based on the interactions you have witnessed between him and Ian? 

Ryan is a man’s man, he likes sports and seems to know boys will be boys and they will adventure and learn. Ryan has the same concerns any father including African American fathers would have about their sons.

What are some of your favorite things to do with Ian when you go for visits? 

In the last two visits, I brought along with my son I have with my wife and seeing them, play is great. I also like seeing how much he has developed and gained knowledge of the things he sees. 

I remember in the AFTH TV episode you did you referred to Ian as the “Life of the Party” if I am not mistaken. Tell me more about why you say that and describe more about his personality.

Ian and boys his age have this nice ball of energy and when they disburse it evenly, with a smile and kindness, laughter.  You bring about good energy coin life of the party. 

Why did you decide to share your story? 

Society gives adoption a bad name seeing that everyone including myself avoids wanting to understand the truth.  People just are not perfect and not so perfect things happen where you face decisions. I feel someone may need to hear that and maybe change his or her outlook on something if not adoptions. 

To learn more about Samai and his story, check out our AFTH TV episode “My journey as a Birth Father”