Adoption is a journey filled with joy, however, with joy comes loss. It’s important to recognize that adoption also comes with inherent grief and hardships. No two adoption stories are the same, and each adoptee’s experience is unique. At its core, adoption begins with the loss of one’s biological family, heritage, and culture, and each adoptee will experience that in different ways. Many adoptees have identity issues, self-esteem struggles, and difficulties forming emotional attachments. In this blog, we’ll shed light on the challenges faced by adoptees through the personal stories of AFTH employees Christian and Jackie. We’ll explore their experiences, emotions, and insights, offering a glimpse into the complex world of adoption from the adoptee’s perspective.
Jackie’s Domestic Adoption Story:
Jackie’s journey into adoption has been marked by reconnection and love. In 2017, she reconnected with her half-brother, Frank, and her birthmother, Maryann. Their bond grew stronger over the years, sharing holidays, laughter, and precious memories. She always knew she was adopted, which instilled a sense of pride in her unique identity. As a child, Jackie had mixed feelings about being adopted due to not fully understanding adoption. As she grew older, she became grateful for being adopted and thankful that she has her parents, but also that she has birth parents. “I had so much love in my life from the day I was born.”
Therapy played a crucial role in helping Jackie navigate her emotions related to adoption. It provided her with a safe space to express her feelings without guilt. Jackie also emphasizes the importance of educating others about positive adoption language, correcting misconceptions, and sharing the truth about adoption.
Christian’s International Adoption Story:
Christian’s journey through adoption has been marked by reunion and self-discovery. He has been in reunion with his birth family for eight years, experiencing ups and downs along the way. Growing up, Christian grappled with feelings of guilt and shame related to his adoption. He hid these emotions from friends and family but later came to accept their validity.
Christian’s adoption story was a continuous grieving process, particularly due to the lack of cultural connection, as his adoption was international. He faced challenges related to identity, education, and mental health. Christian’s adoption journey has taught him patience, insight, and the ability to build meaningful relationships. While he initially had mixed feelings and resentment towards his birth parents, a significant healing moment came when he reunited with his birth family. He found an adoption-competent therapist who guided his healing journey and reached a point of self-acceptance and happiness with the support of those around him.
These stories from adoptees, Jackie and Christian, illustrate the complex emotions and challenges that can arise from adoption. They show that adoption is a journey that evolves over time, filled with self-discovery and healing. It also highlights the importance of understanding and support from family and friends, as well as the need for education and positive adoption language. Adoption is not just about the past; it shapes an adoptee’s present and future, ultimately leading to self-acceptance and happiness.
